A Halloween Party to Remember
October is a terrifying month. As the leaves fall we sense that the end is near. Fall reminds us of our limited mortality. There is only one thing we can do to cope- throw a party.
Daniel put on his best suit and his best smile for the occasion. He placed his big American flag pin on his lapel. He had his teeth whitened for the photos. And his party pin on his other lapel commanded the reader to fight crime and vote for his party.
What’s a more frightening costume at a Halloween party than a politician? Vampires and Dracula are out. Daniel decided to throw a political Halloween party. As Mayor Dan he would command attention no matter what your party might be. All attendees came as disgruntled citizens- fitting the party theme very well. Dan jumped right into the role and began back slapping and hand shaking as he entered the room. He was complimented immediately with “Love your new tatt”. He sported a temporary tattoo of an American flag waving in the wind- proudly displayed on the top of his right hand. When he gave a salute to the crowd they boke into song- “God Bless America”.
In the spirit of the party theme, a lady with long flowing blue hair approached Mayor Dan. She smiled and introduced herself. “Hi. I’m Linda. I’m one of your constituents. I’d like you to meet Murphy, my emotional support plant. I want a law that gives plants rights too.” Being a good politician Dan responded, “I have to compliment you on your selection, Linda. Choosing a two foot tall cactus is a wonderful choice. Nobody is going to mess around with you, even at the airport.” Linda smiled broadly. “I’d offer to buy Murphy a drink but I don’t think that would work for a cactus. Besides, at the moment he is not a registered voter.” They both laughed heartily.
Another woman, probably about 50 judging by her greying hair, approached Mayor Dan. She was sporting a big peace sign on her T shirt, nestled between two large mountains. “Do you like my plea for peace and harmony Mr. Mayor?” Dan thought of a funny remark but he decided to park that thought. These were tough times for sexist humor. Still- the lyrics “The hills were alive with the sound of music” played quietly in his mind. He just smiled- “And peace to you young lady.” Charmed by the ‘young lady’ remark she returned the smile with a giggle..
A man in an expensive looking suit breezed about the room pushing a small square suitcase loaded with briefs and evidence. His lawyer costume was perfect. He handed everyone a card, of course. He would soon address the Council with his petition and he would present the urgent request of his clients. He shook the mayor’s flag draped hand. “Soon, dogs will have their own park with free biscuits and free massages.” Daniel smiled- “Yes, a bone in every bowl.”
There was even a guest dressed as a homeless person in attendance. Disheveled and smelling a bit like a mix of dusty attic and wet dog, he stumbled into the room and sat on a folding chair near the door. Spotting an opportunity, Dan motioned to a man costumed as a reporter and his photographer partner. Dan put his arm on the homeless man’s shoulder and smiled for the camera. The reported jotted down Dan’s words- “Homelessness is a big problem in our city. I pledge to eliminate it.” After the photo and notes were taken the reporter moved on. Dan continued to work the room.
The conversations were lively and sometimes heated as you would expect at any good political gathering. A tap on his shoulder jarred him. The man was a perfect aggrieved citizen for the upcoming council meeting. Dressed in a tank top and yellow construction hat he correctly identified Dan. “You look like you’re the guy in charge here. He poked the flag pin on Dan’s lapel to make a point. “What’s with all that permit BS? How can I run a business here with your DPW director constantly on my ass?” This was an easy one. “I only wish twenty more of you guys would come to our monthly meetings. We absolutely need your input.” After the usual three seconds of silence as the Yellow Hat Man processed this moment of acceptance Dan continued “I must run now The people’s business calls.”
The party moved to a mock City Council meeting down the hall in the actual council chambers, rented for the occasion. Each political party was represented at the meeting. Speeches were short but not sweet. The audience properly booed and cheered on cue. Finally, after two hours, all business was sent to committee for further study. Mayor Dan spoke- “I want to thank you all for attending and participating in democracy. I’d also like to announce that we will continue the party at my bar around the corner- with half price drinks til closing.” A big cheer arose and harmony reigned in the room.
Later at last call, Marlene approached Mayor Dan. She had enjoyed the 50% off deal and she appeared to be quite happy as she smiled oddly. ”I loved your Political Halloween Party.” Slurring her words a bit she continued. “I want you to know if you were really a politician I would actually vote for you.”
Seeing that Marlene was quite inebriated, he decided to step out of the Mayor Dan character. He shared his actual thoughts. He knew she wouldn’t remember his response being totally drunk. “Marlene, I’d like you to just pay your tab and get the Hell out of here. The party is over. I’m going to go to bed and forget all of you in ten minutes.”
The party was over.